I get many people asking me when is the right time to make the transition from cot to a big bed. My advice is to hold out for as long as possible and wait until your child is at least 2.5 years of age. Typically, a child younger than two is not developmentally or emotionally ready to sleep in a regular bed.
Moving to a toddler bed too early is often the #1 cause of toddler sleep issues. By 2½ years of age, their comprehension skills will be far more advanced and they'll be able to understand what's expected of them. Transferring too early may bring new bedtime battles and sleepless nights for everyone.
If you have a child that is climbing out of the cot, you may want to pop them into a sleeping bag so they can't get their leg up and over the cot bars. In some cases, you may need to put the sleeping bag on backwards — so Houdini can't undo it.
Tips for a smooth transition
- Pick your timing. Avoid moving your child into a big bed when they are already experiencing other changes in their life such as toilet training, moving house, illness, or a new sibling.
- Keep your bedtime routine consistent. Ensure you already have a regular bedtime routine in place and continue to follow this when you make the transition.
- Communicate the change. Let your child know what is happening. Explain that they will be sleeping in a 'big boy/girl' bed and make a point of showing them friends and family who also sleep in big beds.
- Empower their choices. Let your child help pick out their new sheets and bed covers — being part of the decision-making process makes the move feel exciting rather than imposed.
- Involve them in the setup. Have your child help set up their new bed, pack up the cot, and decorate their new 'big kid' bedroom.
- Create a reading nook. Set up a dedicated spot for bedtime stories. Avoid laying or sitting down with them on their new bed, as they may start to associate you being in their bed — and this is a tough association to break.
- Use a reward chart. Reward charts go a long way with toddlers. Praise them for being a big boy/girl and continue to offer encouragement throughout the process.
Other tips
- White noise
- Dark room
- Ensure your toddler takes their comforter to bed
- A Gro Clock may be useful for early morning rising
- Night lights may be needed if your toddler is showing signs they're scared (use a pink or orange night light)
Dealing with stalling or coming out of the bedroom
- Bedtime stalling is, ultimately, a discipline and behavioural matter. Your toddler needs to learn to follow your bedtime expectations the same way they would during the day.
- Pre-empt the stalling tactics. If your child tries stalling — "I want a drink," "I need a wee" — try to identify whether the request is genuine and cover off any genuine needs before going into the bedroom. The key to success is to remain strong, firm, and consistent. Your child will pull at any string to gain attention and stretch out bedtime.
- Stay neutral and dull. Keep your voice soft, avoid eye contact, and don't appear angry. Your child is looking for a reaction — good or bad — and when they don't get one, the novelty wears off quickly.
- If your child gets out of bed, walk them straight back. Tell them you'll be back in 5 minutes to check on them. Each time you return, increase the gap slightly. Repeat until they settle. Don't enter into negotiations — calmly walk them back and tuck them in.
- Consider a baby gate. If your toddler consistently comes out of their bedroom overnight and you've tried everything else, installing a baby gate at their door (leaving the door open) can be a helpful boundary.
- Remember this is a big transition for parents too.
- Most important of all — be firm, patient, and consistent.
Transferred too early?
If you've already transferred and bedtime has started to fall apart, you may like to install a baby gate. If you have someone handy around, you could also create a safe sleep space similar to the image below — a contained, secure environment that gives your toddler the freedom of a big bed without the overwhelm.